I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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