I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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