Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
