So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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