is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
