so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
