I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All I want is dick and wine.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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