Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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