What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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