I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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