So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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