I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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