Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
