that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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