I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
