What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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