So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize