before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
