Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
