You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
