She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
