Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
