Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
My life is pants optional.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
