woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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