also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
