Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
