Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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