i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
