So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
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