i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
