New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
