Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize