i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
