Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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