the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
