my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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