Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
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