i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
