The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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