I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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