Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
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