some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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