It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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