I got chris browned last night
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
