I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
