Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
