I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
