oh god the rape fog is back!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
