you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Randomize