If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
