I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
