Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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