You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Panties = found
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