omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Randomize
