scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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