Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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