Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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