would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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