Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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