so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Randomize
