i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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