I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
