omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
