He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
you never un-have a 4some
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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