How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
